Who can live this way, with this inner voice screaming at them all day!? SHUT UP, I want to tell myself!!! SHUT UP you stupid idiot!!! Who are you to judge me? Tell me I'm not good enough? Tell me I'm a failure! SHUT UP!!! I can't run away from my own mind, though … Continue reading SHUT. UP.
Its a grave stone inside me. It was planted in my chest, my own death and it's name lodged deeply beneath. Long ago there were nails and screws driven into my bones and flesh to hold it securely in place. It was made to be left there until I'm at my end, and even beyond … Continue reading Branded
17 years ago I was interviewed by police who had seen me naked, drunk and high having sex with my boyfriends step dad on video. They said, "You claim you were a virgin before this happened yet your medical examination showed that your hymen was not intact. Also in the video of the alleged rape, … Continue reading 31
My name means summer meadow. The day I was born I was given this gift, a name that I so long to fulfill the destiny it prophecies of. I want to become a pleasant place for those I love to linger in as they pass through life. To have warm breezes brush over their faces, … Continue reading Meadow
Lord, I could write but I dont want to, all I want is to talk to you. There is a line in a book that I'll never forget. "The laugh collapsed the moment it was born." I think it was the saddest thing I've ever read. I just imagine this thing full of life and … Continue reading Collapse
The view from the top is usually better. You're able to see further and your perception is totally different. At the top you can see all around. You can see the end of the journey coming up in the distance. You feel the sun on your face, the wind in your hair. You remember the … Continue reading From the Bottom
I shift with each new sunrise, everything I believe. I don't know what to believe in. Where is sure footing? Solid ground. I am walking into my future each day unsure where its safe to step. By night his love consumes me. By day his choice tortures me. I'm thrown down and tenderly cared for by … Continue reading It hurts either way